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Section 10.15.
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Joke TV Commercial for Final Frontier Jerky

Greg Nemitz

Final Frontier Jerky <BACKGROUND: Black sky with stars.>
<ZOOM: To 1983 DeLorean, in outer space, from the back of the car spews two rails of sparkling white powder.>
<SOUND: Quiet sound of a vacuum cleaner>
<CLOSE-UP to windshield, inside are JEREMIAH and CALEB.>

CALEB: "Jeremiah, Pa's gonna be real mad when he finds his antique DeLorean is gone from the barn."

JEREMIAH: "Don't you worry none, Caleb; when we's landed on the moon, we is gonna be rich and famous."

CALEB: "But, Jeremiah, what's Pa gonna say when he finds out you rigged the DeLorean to go to the moon? He always wanted to keep this car original."

JEREMIAH: "I'll worry about that when we get back to Utah, Caleb. Jes you think, we're a gonna be the first boys from Utah to git themselves to the moon."

<SOUND: Quiet sound of a vacuum cleaner only; for 4 seconds.>

CALEB: "Jeremiah, I'm hongry, wha'd you bring us to eat?"

JEREMIAH: "I brung us that there "Final Frontier Jerky," Caleb. It's behind yor seat."

<ACTION: Caleb reaches behind seat, pulls out a bag of jerky; takes a big piece, and chomps off a bite.>

CALEB: Jeremiah, I thought only real astru-nauts could git Final Frontier Jerky, where'd you git it from?"

JEREMIAH: "I ordered it off'n the Internet last week, Caleb."

CALEB: "Gawd, This is the best dang jerky I ever et, when we git back to Utah, I'ma gonna order me up a truck-load. How do I find it on the Internet, Jeremiah?"

JEREMIAH: "It's 'bout as easy as it gits, Caleb. Jes send yor email to reorder at beefjerky dot com."

<FLASH TITLE REPEATEDLY at bottom of screen:>

JEREMIAH: "They's also got a web page, Caleb."

CALEB: "Wot's that, Jeremiah?"

JEREMIAH: You know what, Caleb, that there World Wide Web thang on the 'net. It's got dang near the same address.

<FLASH TITLE REPEATEDLY at bottom of screen:>

<CLOSING SHOT: Background is black with stars. Pan to the back of the car. Very large full moon is ahead of the DeLorean. Car is spewing two sparkling white rails, going to the camera. Vacuum cleaner sound is loud and fading. Website address is still flashing at bottom of screen.>

CALEB: "I shore wish they delivered Final Frontier Jerky to the moon, Jeremiah, this bag ain't a gonna last very long."

-- END --

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